Kiss the Fish Boy
by just-another-generic-emo-kid
Summary: SasuNaru. A mermaid falls in love, gains legs from a witch and maybe gets a kiss. And also, in a lot of trouble.
1. Chapter 1

"Naruto, Kiba…w-we shouldn't be doing this." Hinata said, swimming along after the other two mer-people.

"Aw, Hinata, we're just having some fun, don't worry about it," Kiba laughed, stop to face the girl.

"But Kiba-kun…"

"C'mon guys! I want to get to the shore before baa-chan comes looking for us," Naruto shouted, swimming away from his two friends.

"Right you are Naruto, right you are, let's go." Kiba said, quickly swimming ahead of the blonde.

Hinata faltered for a second before following uncertainly.

"Don't worry Hinata, you'll love the shore. These huge ships are always unloading and the humans are always amusing to watch," Naruto assured the Hyuuga.

"But, Naruto-kun, Neji said the shore was a dangerous place," Hinata murmured.

"Oh, Neji is full of it, we go all the time. Right, Kiba?"

"Yeah, but only because Naruto is completely crushing on that one dry-lander," Kiba chuckled, dodging when Naruto tried to slap his head.

"Don't listen to him, Hinata-chan, he's an idiot. And he forgot his medication this morning," Naruto grumbled.

"Um."

"There it is!" Kiba said, swimming behind a large group of rocks to observe the happenings on shore.

The shore was actually the port of Fire Country. And Naruto was indeed infatuated with the prince of the country; a raven-haired, pale skinned, dark-eyed young man, barely older than Naruto. And Naruto would totally have asked him out, except for the entire lack-of-legs thing.

That's right, Naruto, and the rest of Konohagakure, were mermen or mermaids. Fins and scales and gills, they had all the fish bits attached to a human torso and head. Naruto was the nephew of the queen of the village; Tsunade. Naruto, being the defiant young merman he was, often came to the port to watch (and squeal about the cuteness of) the prince. Naruto (being the slightly-awesome stalker he was) even knew the prince's name. Uchiha Sasuke was his name, and even though he was a bastard (and had those disgusting legs) he was sexy as hell. Except for the legs, gross.

The three mer-people watched the goings-on of the shore. There were people loading and unloading huge cargo ships. Merchants were selling their wares in the streets. Children were gallivanting all over the place, most making nuisances of themselves. And also, Sasuke was there. The young prince was watching the progress of the goods of the ships. Or he should have been. Instead, the Uchiha was staring at the ocean, entranced by the ebb and flow; his eyes following each wave in turn.

Naruto watched Sasuke from behind the rocks. His blue eyes were focused on Sasuke's even though the raven didn't notice the blonde. Assured that he was hidden well enough behind the boulders, Naruto allowed his head to surface. Breathing in the salty air and listening to the chatter and shouting of the land-dwellers, and focusing more intently on Sasuke.

Then, a tanned hand grabbed Naruto's arm, pulling him back under with a large splash.

"What the hell?" The blonde shouted, outraged and confused.

"What are you doing? You could have been seen!" Kiba shouted back.

"Guys…"

"I was careful! I was hidden!" Naruto answered, pushing the other boy away from him.

"You were not! That was a fucking stupid idea, Naruto." Kiba said, shoving the blonde.

"Um, g-guys?"

"It wasn't stupid, moron. No one noticed me at all."

"It was a dumbass move, dumb ass."

"Guys?"

"What?" Both boys shouted at the nervous girl.

"I-I think we should leave now," Hinata muttered.

"Why?" Naruto asked. Hinata pointed over the rocks.

Naruto turned and looked back at shore. Apparently, the splash he and Kiba had made was bigger than they thought, as it had attracted not only the prince's attention, but most of the sailors and merchants as well.

"Well, damn. Let's go, quickly." Kiba said, pulling Hinata away from the rocks.

"N-Naruto-kun?"Hinata called to the blue-eyed merman.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming," Naruto said, turning away from the dark-eyed man on shore to follow his friends back to the village.

As they made their way back to the depths of the ocean where Konohagakure was, Naruto couldn't help but wonder about the Uchiha heir. He could swear, if he didn't know any better, that those dark eyes had been staring directly into his own ocean-blue eyes.

"We are so dead!" Kiba yelled as they reached the village.

"Yes, yes you are." A very, very scary voice said behind the three teens.

"B-baa-chan? We didn't do anything that bad, I swear!" Naruto defended, swimming behind Hinata. Surely, the strong, slightly-drunk woman wouldn't hurt a stuttering young girl.

"Naruto, you moron! You were almost SEEN! How could you make such a bone-head move? Idiot!" Tsunade screamed, moving Hinata to the side in order to punch Naruto in the head.

"Yeah, that's what I told him, Hokage-sama." Kiba said, nodding his head in agreement.

"You, you're just as much to blame. You both are. Honestly, going to the shore? Again? You know that's forbidden for a reason. Really, didn't last time teach either of you a lesson?" Tsunade asked, slamming her fist into Kiba's head as well.

Hinata passed out from all the violence and anger the busty woman was exuding.

"Well, I'll take Hinata to the infirmary to get her patched up. You two will be waiting for me in my office." Tsunade glared at the two boys as they quickly swam away. "I mean it; you two are so beyond dead. When I'm done with you, you'll both be wishing you WERE ten feet under. Idiots!"

Naruto laughed slightly and looked at Kiba. Would it be safer to hide and wait for Tsunade to cool down and search for them or actually go to her office and wait for her? Either way was basically certain death. But, Tsunade might be more pissed if they directly disobeyed her orders than if they actually listened to her for once. And, really, there was no need to invoke more wraths from the angry woman.

-

A/N: Yes, this is an Ariel AU. And yes, they are mermaids. And yeah, it is based off of the Ashley Tisdale song: Kiss the Girl. Damn, I have no life. I mean, I watch Disney channel. Ugh, I'm hopeless. Shoot me now.


	2. Chapter 2

"This is the most suck-ish thing to ever have sucked," Naruto groaned, leaning his bedroom window.

"Well, it's your own fault, Naruto," Iruka, Naruto's tutor and keeper, apparently, clucked behind the blonde.

"Was not! We were very careful. We weren't even seen, like at all," Naruto whined, allowing his head to rest on the window sill.

Iruka looked at him disbelievingly," You know even going the shore is forbidden. You're lucky you're related to Tsunade or you would be in so much more trouble."

"More trouble? How could I be in more trouble? I'm confined to the castle for the next two weeks!" Naruto said, staring at his sensei incredulously.

"You could be in jail or dead or sent to spend the week with Gai and Lee" Iruka answered, finished making Naruto's bed.

Naruto shivered. No…just, no.

"Okay, so it could be worse, but this still sucks," Naruto groused.

"Well, look at it this way; you have more time to focus on your schoolwork!" Iruka offered cheerfully.

"Ugh, this so completely sucks."

-

Two days later, Naruto was wandering the castle. He had earlier ditched Iruka. Really, how much classic literature was one teenage merman expected take? So, he had snuck away as while Iruka was writing something on the small chalkboard in the tutoring room. Then, Naruto had gotten some ramen from the kitchens. The cooking staff was really nice. When he took over the throne, he was so raising their salary.

But now, he was out of ramen and he had to keep to the less used halls lest he be found by an angry Iruka. Maybe he could that perverted bodyguard, Kakashi, to distract Iruka next time. The last time Kiba had come to the castle, he had said the two mermen definitely had _something_ going on.

Naruto came to an empty hall that wasn't familiar at all, which was strange, because, sure, this place was huge and all but he had lived for his entire life and there wasn't much of the castle he hadn't seen. Except for Baa-chan's sleeping quarters. No one ever wants to go there. Ew.

So, in this unfamiliar hallway, Naruto noticed, there were no doors. Then he turned a corner because, hey, there was a door. Well, he might as well open the door. After all, if he was going to take the throne, he should know the entire castle, right?

Right.

So he opened the door and was immediately shoved over the threshold by forces unknown. And the current in that room was very strong. The current was strong enough to pull Naruto downwards until he realized this wasn't really a room (it lacked a floor) but more of a tunnel or a slide.

"Woo, slide! Hey wait, I don't know even where this damn thing goes," Naruto mumbled, trying to turn around a swim back out. But yeah, strong current, remember?

And then he was thrown on to sand covered stone. And ouch, his tail hurt and his elbows were bruised. And oh, his head was all spinning and then everything went dark.

-

Naruto woke up to the sound of pencil on paper. Aw, man, he was so very sore. He turned over and saw an older merman. The merman had long white hair and perverted grin on his face as he wrote on a piece of paper.

"Hey, where am I? Who the hell are you?" Naruto grunted, rolling off the bed he had been placed on mysteriously.

"Oh, uh," the old guy said shuffling the paper into a desk drawer," I'm Jiraiya. And you fell into my house."

"I- I what? Fell _into_ your house?" Naruto shouted," How did I fall _into_ your house?"

"Beats me but I can help you, y'know." Jiraiya smirked at the blonde.

"Help me? With what?" Naruto asked, sitting back down on the bed.

Jiraiya leered at the younger merman," I heard you in your sleep. Groaning and mumbling about Sasuke. 'Sasuke, you're so hot. Sasuke take me; bend me over your bed.'"

Naruto flushed hotly," I don't talk in my sleep."

"Yeah, you do. So, you've fallen for Prince Uchiha, huh? A human?" Jiraiya said knowingly, leaning back in his chair, his own tail swaying in front on him.

"I have not. But so what? It's not like I could ever meet him or talk to him," Naruto said.

"Well, you're wrong about one of those things. I told you I could help you, remember?" Jiraiya asked.

"Really? How are you gonna help me? Throw me on shore and yell 'merman oversea'?" Naruto snorted.

Jiraiya smiled," Now, now, I'll keep that idea for Plan B. Not that you're really a mer_man_, are you?"

"Hey! You old pervert, shut up!" Naruto shouted.

"Do you want my help or not kid? I need to get back to my writing," Jiraiya said, opening the desk drawer again.

"Fine, how do I meet Sasuke?" Naruto relented.

Jiraiya slammed the drawer closed," There's a good boy! Now where did I put it?"

"Put what? What are you getting? Hey, tell me how you're gonna help me!" Naruto yelled as the white haired pervert continued to search through his many piles and cupboards of junk, all the while ignoring the shouting, red-faced blonde.

Finally, Jiraiya emerged from the third closet he had checked victorious. In his hand he held a necklace.

"Now, Naruto, do you know what this is?" Jiraiya asked the blue-eyed boy.

"Um…no? A necklace?" Naruto said.

Jiraiya smacked Naruto's head," Don't be a smart ass. Yes, it's a necklace, but do you know what it does?"

"God, you hit almost as hard as Baa-chan," Naruto grumbled, rubbing at his head," No, what kind of awesome powers this wonderful necklace hold?"

"Well, brat, this necklace allows a merperson to become human as long as they wear it," Jiraiya explained," But if you're going to belittle it's powers, I'll just save the necklace for someone who can appreciate it."

"Are you serious? This will let me be human?" Naruto asked reaching for the necklace.

Jiraiya smacked the tan hand," Yes, but at a price; while you wear the necklace, you won't be able to speak."

"Seriously? But I can meet Sasuke right?" Naruto asked. Jiraiya nodded.

"But it will only work for thirty days. If you don't receive a kiss in that time, the necklace's powers will become null and void and you will be banished back to the sea forever." Jiraiya said.

"But, I can meet Sasuke right? And al I have to do is kiss him?" Naruto received another swat to the head.

"Did you not hear a word I just said? You have to _receive_ a kiss in thirty days. Meaning you have to get Sasuke to kiss you, brat," Jiraiya sighed.

"Oh, well, I can do that. Now, can I have to necklace?" Naruto asked.

"I suppose so. Just don't screw this up kid," Jiraiya said handing Naruto the necklace which Naruto proceeded to put on." Wait kid, don't put that on down hear! Humans can't breathe-"

Naruto, with his new legs under him, then began to choke on water. Jiraiya wrenched the necklace off his neck before he lost consciousness.

"You are an idiot! Humans can't underwater." Jiraiya shouted, shoving the necklace back into Naruto's hand.

"Oh," Naruto said, still panting.

"Yeah, now get out of my house and don't try anything idiotic before you meet Sasuke. And especially not after you meet the Uchiha." Jiraiya said, leading the panting blonde to the door of his house.

"Okay, okay, bye you old pervert. And thanks." Naruto said, his fist tightening around the necklace clutched in his hand. Then he swam off and away from the hermit's house, heading back to the village in order to prepare for his departure. Not that anyone else would know about it until after he was long gone (and hopefully with Sasuke).


	3. Chapter 3

Jiraiya watched Naruto swim toward shore, necklace in hand. He snorted and went back into his house; his stories weren't going to write themselves.

Just as he pulled the latest draft of Icha Icha out of his desk drawer, something terrible happened, something terrifying and destructive. His front door flew off its hinges and hit the opposite wall, revealing a supremely pissed off Tsunade. Jiraiya sighed and began gathering the pages of genius and returning to them to the desk drawer where they would be safe from the bad, bad lady. Tsunade had never appreciated his art.

"Jiraiya, why did a scout just report that he had seen Naruto walking along the shore? On legs? What. Did. You. Do?" Tsunade raged, punching a hole in the rock wall of Jiraiya's house. Damn, he'd just re-decorated too.

"Oh hi, Tsunade. Yes please come in. Would you like some tea?" Jiraiya said dryly. Then he squinted at the woman's face, then her breasts, then back to her face," Or maybe some sake would more to your tastes?"

Tsunade whirled on Jiraiya with renewed rage, "Jiraiya, I won't ask twice. What the hell did you do?"

"Technically, you have already asked me that twice. And I don't have to answer you."

Tsunade grabbed Jiraiya by the collar and hoisted off the floor with one hand," Yes, you do. What did you give Naruto?"

Jiraiya struggled against the woman's grip as Tsunade's fingers began to apply pressure to his windpipe. He managed to gasp out, "Necklace." Tsunade gave a noise of disgust and tossed him back into his chair. Jiraiya collapsed into his seat, inhaling the salty ocean water. "All you had to do was ask, Tsunade."

Tsunade's fist meeting the side of his head effectively shut up any other smart remarks. Jiraiya glared at her as his eyes watered.

"What did he need legs for? Why did he want to go ashore?" Tsunade asked, swimming back and forth in the small room. Her tail swished in aggravation. "This isn't about that Uchiha brat, is it? Jiraiya?"

Jiraiya winced at the volume, clutching his pounding head, "You know the answer to that one, Tsunade."

Tsunade glared harder at the man, "I thought we agreed that we wouldn't allow him to go ashore. That's why you had the necklace. To keep it hidden."

"You agreed. You and I both know better than to try to change fate," Jiraiya sighed, swimming over to the shallow stone bowl in a shadowy corner of his house.

"I've already lost everyone else, Jiraiya, I won't lose my nephew without a fight," Tsunade argued, but she followed the merman to the corner.

Jiraiya used his hand to swirl the silver mist that settled in the shallow bowl. The misty substance picked up more and more speed until it finally dissipated and showed an image. A slightly older Naruto and Sasuke, both with legs, embraced on a balcony overlooking the ocean. The two men leaned closer until their lips touched. The image grew fuzzy as the kiss grew deeper until the silver mist reappeared and completely obscured whatever the two men in the bowl might have been doing.

Tsunade turned away from the bowl, "I don't care Jiraiya, there's nothing to say that that future is going to happen. There have been other prophecies that remain unfulfilled."

Jiraiya finally turned away from the swirling mist, "I know that but the pull was strong on Naruto. He found me, not the other way around. He was taking risks, going closer and closer to shore. He almost exposed himself and put all of us at risk, Tsunade. We need to let this run its course, Naruto needs to make the choice for himself. He deserves that much, Tsunade."

"I will get him back here, where he belongs," Tsunade said.

Jiraiya sighed in defeat, "You do what you have to Tsunade. And so will I."

Tsunade frowned, "That's how it's going to be then?"

"I guess so," Jiraiya said, "and you were wrong about one thing."

Tsunade's frown grew, "What?"

Jiraiya's hand grasped Tsunade's gently, "You haven't lost everyone."

Tsunade smiled at her friend. Jiraiya grinned back. He released Tsunade's hand and let it rest on her shoulder instead, moving it slowly down until—

The resounding shout of, "Pervert!" could be heard for miles through the ocean. So could the slap that followed.

'So close,' Jiraiya thought as he rubbed his jaw.

Naruto swam away from Jiraiya as quickly as possible. He needed to get to shore before anyone realized he was gone. He had no idea how long he had been passed out on Jiraiya's bed. Naruto slowed as he came to a secluded part of the beach along Fire Country's shore. It should be safe here and it wouldn't be a far walk into the city where Sasuke resided.

Naruto pulled himself up to where the dry sand and the crashing waves met. Then he put the necklace on. He hadn't been able to appreciate it earlier, when he almost died, but he watched in amazement, and vague disgust as his tail shimmered and the scales began to melt into soft, peachy skin that matched his torso. His one tail turned into two toned, tan legs that ended in feet. And Naruto had never seen feet so close up before. They were a bit funny looking, broad and bony, topped with silly little nugget-like toes. Naruto bent forward to inspect his brand new feet more closely. He let out a small chuckle.

Or tried to, anyway. Damn, he had forgotten about that catch. No talking. Apparently that rule extended to non-word sounds like laughing. Alright, that would make this difficult, but definitely not impossible. Naruto shrugged and made to swim, flicking his tail. He blinked and tried again before looking down and remembering that he had legs now and he wouldn't be able to swim on dry land.

Okay, so he would have to learn how to use these legs before anything else. No problem. He was Naruto Uzumaki, no legs would trip him up.

Boy, was he wrong. Fifteen minutes later all he had succeeded in doing was flailing his legs around and flopping around in the wet sand. He has managed to get his feet under him once, but had ended up falling flat on his face. Naruto grunted, pushing himself up with his arms. He would figure out how to use these things. Otherwise he might as well take off the necklace, crawl back into the sea and give up on ever meeting Sasuke. Screw that, Naruto decided.

He pushed his feet flat against the wet sand and slowly pushed the rest of his body up with his arms until it was aligned with his ankles and calves. He crouched for a few moments, weighing his options. Then he slowly extended his thighs and pushed upward. And he was standing! Finally! Now walking would be a cinch after all that.

An hour later, Naruto finally figured out how to coordinate two limbs at the same time to move. Then he realized he was naked. His worrying over clothes was interrupted by approaching voices.

"But Ino, he would never fall for that. He's much too clever!"

"What would you know about cleverness, Sakura?"

"He's the prince, Ino. Of course he's clever. Unless you think he's stupid! Ino, do you really think Sasuke, Prince Sasuke, is stupid?"

Two arguing girls appeared around the cliff that enclosed Naruto's little beach nook. Naruto dove behind a large rock that covered him up to his waist. He stared at the two women, one blonde and the other, oddly, pink-haired, with wide eyes.

"Who is that? I've never seen you before," the blonde girl exclaimed.

"What's your name?" the pink haired girl asked. Naruto shrugged. She huffed and asked, "Well you're not from here, so where did you come from?"

Naruto pointed to the ocean.

"From a ship? Did it wreck or something?" the pink one inquired. Naruto grabbed onto the cover story and nodded sadly. "Oh my, we'll take to into town with us, okay? I'm Sakura."

Naruto nodded eagerly.

"Well come on then, I'm Ino," the blonde one exclaimed.

Naruto didn't budge. He gestured at himself emphatically.

"What's wrong? Oh God, are you naked behind there?" Ino asked.

Naruto nodded. Sakura and Ino stared for a second. Then Sakura took off her sweater and gestured for Ino to do the same. Then she tied them together and threw it to Naruto.

"Tie it around your waist," she explained. Naruto nodded.

"You haven't said a word. Why?" Ino asked.

Sakura hit her friend's arm as Naruto shrugged, tying the fabric around his waist. "He just came from a shipwreck, Ino, who knows what he's been through. He's probably in shock!"

Naruto walked over to the two girls. Each took a hand and pulled him toward the docks, the city, and inevitably Prince Sasuke. Naruto followed eagerly.

A/N: So, hey. I realized I still really love this story. So here's a long overdue updates. Because aren't all my updates always overdue?

Also, I have a new blog, about RL stuff. But it'll keep you updated and I do update it daily. And you can remind me when I'm being lazy and need to get my ass in gear on these stories. A link is in my profile!


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